The Armchair Outfitter

Part of the pleasure I get from my time in the deer camp comes from poker games with my buddies. I suspect that duck camp, fish camp, and any other place sportsmen gather is also the venue for an occasional poker game. With that in mind, I present these simple guidelines to maximize your enjoyment of the game.

1. Know the law in your jurisdiction.

Even a friendly game may be illegal if you’re playing for money, and if there’s no money involved, it’s not really poker, is it? The law is complex, and people like me make a living trying to interpret subtle distinctions. In Alabama, it is an affirmative defense to the offense of simple gambling if one is a “player” in a “social game” in a “private place.” The definition of those terms with citations to appropriate authorities would be about three times the length of the rest of this article. Suffice it to say that the difference between having a defense and having no defense may turn on whether the house takes any of the pot or collects any money from the players. Don’t let a “kitty” to pay for Cokes and snacks deprive players of a potential defense to a criminal charge.

2. Don’t advertise.

Although poker may be legal or at least tolerated where you play, it still behooves you to keep your game a secret. You shouldn’t discuss your game with people you don’t know well. When I was playing in Tennessee years ago, there was a gang making the rounds hitting deer camps just miles from us in Mississippi. These guys were all business. They would burst in wearing ski masks, rob the players, and then cover their tracks by shooting everyone and burning the camp. This only has to happen once to ruin your deer season. We all like to brag about our exploits at the table, but don’t let stories about big money games circulate around the community with your camp as the focus. You may know the people to whom you’re talking, but you don’t know all the people they will tell about your wild poker nights. In this situation, it doesn’t pay to advertise, so as we say here, “Keep it down home, cuz.”

3. Agree on house rules and think about posting them.

This one step will save you more heartache than you could ever imagine. There are thousands of variations in the game of poker, and you don’t want to discover that two players have a different understanding of the rules when they’re in the middle of a hand. Posting the house rules beforehand avoids conflict and hard feelings. Many games are played “dealer’s choice” with regard to the specific game, i.e., stud or hold ‘em, wild cards or straight poker, but there are still fundamental rules that should be clear. Is there a maximum or minimum bet? Is check raising allowed? Is there a maximum number of raises that caps the betting? Work these things out before cards hit the table, or you’re asking for trouble.

4. Invest in a good poker cloth and chips.

With the popularity of poker in recent years, it’s easy to find good quality chips and a felt poker cloth. Keeping cash off the table makes suggestions #1 and #2 easier to implement, and it makes the game flow faster. A deer camp poker game is all about the experience, and quality chips with some weight to them and a cloth that makes the cards slide easily and stop appropriately will enhance the feel of the game immensely. If you play for smaller stakes, a couple of stacks of white chips and a stack of red is just more exciting than a pile of nickels and dimes. You don’t have to spend a lot of money. We played for years on an old gray Army blanket, and I don’t think I’ve seen a nicer surface in any casino anywhere.

5. Elect a banker.

If you’re playing with chips, someone will have to be responsible for collecting the real money, issuing the chips, and cashing everyone out at the end of the session. You may have one person who is mathematically minded and responsible who will keep this position permanently, or you can choose to rotate it among players. The banker serves for an entire session of play, and he must make up any shortfall in the bank from his own pocket. It’s a nice gesture to throw the banker one of your beers at the end of the game or offer to clean his rifle. It can be a stressful job.

6. Watch your alcohol.

This is important anytime money is involved, but poker features the doubly intoxicating combination of money and ego. Adding too much alcohol to that one-two punch can put the crimp on an evening of fun. It’s O.K. to have a few drinks, but if you’re knee-walking drunk, your bankroll and the next day’s hunting will suffer.

7. Identify and eliminate problem players.

This often goes hand in hand with #6. People’s real personalities tend to come out at the poker table, and that’s not always a good thing. If a player is too intoxicated, abusive to other players, or a cheat, find a way to get him out of the game. Even if you have to hurt someone’s feelings, it’s better than letting one trouble player take the fun out of the game for everyone. Most people know when they’re out of line, but they may not realize it in the heat of the moment. We’ve barred players from our games only to have them return later and apologize.