The Armchair Outfitter

“If, like me, you are fool enough to dream of killing a monstrous whitetail buck with a pointy stick, the state where I hunt guarantees your right to have at it from mid-September to the bitter end of January.  And until the season runs out and hunters still afield are subject to prosecution, this is exactly what I intend to do, even though on a cold January afternoon I am about as likely to see Jesus wandering around during daylight hours as a deer.” – Bill Heavey, If You Didn’t Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat?

Well, maybe not a miracle, but a nice fat doe that sure felt like a miracle after days of hard hunting in the rain over Thanksgiving break.  I was on the stand at 6:30 A.M. the first day of my Christmas vacation and I shot this porky deer at 6:55 A.M.  She weighed around 100 pounds, and thanks to Uncle Gary and Cousin Tim, it was a happy holiday.

46,382,971.6 grains?

On a recent work trip to Montgomery, AL, I walked out of my hotel to see this bad ride idling under the canopy.  My brothers and sisters, I was tempted beyond all reason.  I have had my eye on a 3500 HD Duramax for some time, and the Federal Premium graphics would have been a nice bonus.  Fortunately, what Lincoln would have called the better angels of my nature prevailed, and I remain at large.  I guess I spent enough time at the county jail during my nine years of criminal trial practice.  I did loiter though, in hopes of meeting the lucky driver, but I neither made contact nor received a citation.