The Armchair Outfitter

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Tips from the Armchair #3

March 14th, 2008 · 5 Comments

tent-1.jpg

Storing a Tent

This is the method I’ve always used for storing tents. It is time tested, and it is not found in the literature of any tent manufacturer. I have intentionally excluded any instructions regarding “pitching a tent.” Most of the manufacturers provide adequate instructions for this, and anyone who types those particular terms into an internet search engine is probably looking for something completely different from this site. At any rate . . .

1. Before you use the tent, take a picture of the tent in the factory storage bag. You might be tempted to omit this step. Do not. You will need to refer to this photograph later in the process, and after the tent has been removed from the storage bag, it will be too late.

2. Fold the tent carefully exactly the way it was folded when you removed it from the bag. Try to eliminate any air pockets from the tent. It helps to have a partner to help you with this step. If you have no partner, there are websites for that as well.

3. Try as best you can to stuff the tent, along with any poles and stakes that came with it, back into the bag. This may take several minutes. If you have not worked up a sweat, you are not performing this step correctly. After several attempts, you will either break the zipper on the bag or collapse in a heap on the ground. Do not be alarmed; this is normal. Take a few deep breaths, and consult a physician if you feel any inordinate physical or mental distress.

4. If you have already broken the zipper, skip this step and proceed immediately to Step 5. Remove the tent from the bag and unroll it completely. Repeat Step 3 up to the “collapse in a heap” part.

5. Cuss. Some persons with delicate sensibilities may question the necessity of this step, but in my experience it is invaluable.

6. Refer to the photograph from Step 1 of the tent in the bag as it came from the manufacturer. This is the last time you will ever see the tent and all its components in that bag. If you skipped Step 1, shame on you.

7. Remove the tent poles and stakes from the bag. This will provide more room for the tent, and will make these other items easier to lose before you need to use the tent again. If you do in fact lose these items, when you purchase a replacement tent, they will be in the bag provided by the manufacturer.

Well, there you have it. There are other methods, no doubt, but this has always been how I have stored my various tents, and I hold with tradition where possible.

Tags: Tips from the Armchair

5 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Julie // Mar 17, 2008 at 10:51 am

    In reference to Thomas Jefferson’s “When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, an hundred,” (1) Mark Twain remarked, “When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.”

    (1) A Decalogue of Canons for Observation in Practical Life [February 21, 1825])
    (2) Pudd’nhead Wilson, Pudd’nhead Wilson Calendar, Chap. 3

  • 2 armchairoutfitter // Mar 17, 2008 at 2:29 pm

    Julie,

    Nice citations. You may have a future in library science.

    “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
    - Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

    That certainly applies to me.

  • 3 stovert1 // Mar 17, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    Now, tell the truth, it had to be my husband that taught you how to store a tent like that. If not, it sure is amazing, because we do it exactly the same way except that Greg tends to rely on Step 5 a great deal more than your directions recommend.

  • 4 armchairoutfitter // Mar 17, 2008 at 3:54 pm

    As I said, it is the traditional method. And I’m all for tradition.

  • 5 Greg // Mar 18, 2008 at 11:18 am

    I have a much simpler, one-step method: drag the thing to the curb; someone will think you’re throwing it away and take it. This method also works for discarding couches, matresses and unwanted exercise equipment.

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